I Can't Unlove You
by candio08
Summary: James and Lily just had a huge fight. Lily unexpectedly moves out but they keep seeing each other around. Finally, James tells Lily how he feels. “Lily,” James whispered, “I can’t unhear, unremember, unthink, or,” he paused, “unlove you.”


Okay, so its 4 am when i am posting this, but i couldn't stop writing so this is what i have. It;s totally different from what i normally write, but oh well.

"You WHAT???" Lily screamed.

"Lils, I didn't mean to," James tried.

"Don't you dare 'Lils' me James Potter!"

"Lily, I-"

"You CHEATED ON ME!!!"

"Lily, it's not like that-"

"Ok, what would you call sleeping with another girl James? NOT cheating? I don't think so," she screeched.

"Lily please let me explain!" he tried again.

Lily scowled. "Try." she said in a murderous voice.

"Lily, please, just hear me out, I was drunk, and she meant nothing to me!" James pleaded.

"So what, am I supposed to let you slide just because you were drunk? What about next time? Am I supposed to forgive you then too? What about last time? I let that slide because it was just a kiss, but-" she couldn't bare to go any longer.

James was at a loss of words.

"Well," Lily was impatient, "do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"I um, I-uh, umm, I-Lily," he whispered as he looked her dead in the eye.

Lily looked truly hurt. She had to blink back the tears that made her eyes sting. After what seemed like an eternity, Lily broke the stare. "I um," she cleared her throat, "I think it's best if we sleep on this."

"I'll take the couch," James offered. Lily simply nodded. She turned took a few steps, glanced behind her and shook her head. She drug herself to her bed and finally let the hot, salty water finally escape her eyes. Her eyes, which were once filled with liveliness and passion were now replaced with doubt and sorrow.

James desperately tried to sleep that night, but found that every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Lily's hurt expression. He couldn't stand to see her like that; he couldn't stand to know that he had caused her any pain at all. 'Then why did I do it?' James thought. 'Because I was drunk' he answered. 'God, I know that's not even an acceptable answer, and yet I had used it.' 'I did it because she was so tempting and beautiful and wouldn't take no for an answer' 'And Yet Lily is a million times more beautiful than her and she would have been better' he thought. 'Ugh, how am I going to fix this?' he asked himself for the ten thousandth time tonight. James finally drifted to sleep and dreamt of his perfect world, of him and Lily together, forever. James awoke early for work the next morning and left before Lily awoke. He didn't want to have to see her hurt face again. 'I'll fix this tonight, when I get home,' James sighed as he took one last look at Lily before he was off to work.

The next morning, when Lily awoke, she found that James had gone. She had had enough. She decided right then what she had to do.

Postcards and letters  
And pictures made to last forever  
To be boxed up and tossed away  
Knickknacks and souvenirs  
In an afternoon, they're out of here  
They'll disappear without a trace  
But what they mean to me  
Can never be replaced

James came home that night, expecting Lily to be there, waiting for him. He had planned this big, long apology, and he couldn't wait to make up with her. James arrived home, opened the door and dropped his roses. It was gone, everything was gone, well everything that belonged to her at least. On a nail where a picture had once hung, was a piece of parchment. James walked slowly to where the letter hang, and took it off the nail.

Dear James,

I am truly sorry but I just don't think that I can handle this anymore. Know that I love you. I always will, but I don't think that we are going to work. Let's face it, James; we are at two different ends of the spectrum. You like to have flings, I like commitment. You like jokes, I like books, and the list goes on. I am truly sorry but I just don't think I can do this anymore.

Always yours,

Lily

As James read the tear-stained letter, he felt as if he might die. The love of his life had walked out of his life. He now felt an emptiness in his heart, and he knew was where Lily belonged. She belonged with him. James couldn't help but make his tears join Lily's as he read the letter over and over again. He finally understood what loneliness meant. He remembered her presence and it made him strong. Now she was gone and he was weak.

As Lily reached her friends house, she felt like a million knives were plunging into her heart. She knew that they were over, and that killed her. Lily rang the doorbell and the door almost immediately opened to reveal her friend Jen. She swallowed Lily in a hug and looked at her with eyes that were full of sympathy. Lily gave her a weak smile and went inside. She couldn't stop thinking about him.

I can't unthink about you  
I can't unfeel your touch  
I can't unhear all the words  
Unsay all the things  
That used to mean so much  
I wish I could unremember  
Everything my heart's been through  
And finding out it's impossible to do  
Oh, it's no use  
I can't unlove you

Over the next week or so, James and Lily spotted each other on more than one occasion. Each time was more unbearable than the last. When Lily would walk into a shop and James was leaving, or when James would be with his friends eating at an outside cafe and Lily would be walking down the street. Their eyes would lock for the slightest moment and then one would break away, feeling as if they might die if they got lost in the others eyes for too long.

Then there was one day and Lily and Jen were in the candy shop and just as they were exiting James was coming in, followed by the rest of his friends. "I'm sor-" Lily started as she looked up to see who she hit. She smelled him. She knew that scent anywhere. That was the unmistakable scent of James Potter. Lily looked up and gasped at not only who it was, but how close they were. A mere inch or two was separating their faces. They both froze and locked eyes. It was almost as if the world had stopped the moment they locked eyes. "Excuse me," Lily whispered as she sped past the man she loved and left so soon ago.

James was still in a state of shock. He just had the woman he loved in his arms again. He could smell her. They were so close that they almost kissed, and yet, James felt more empty now more than he ever had in his entire life.

Lily's heart was going as fast as a hummingbirds after she left the shop. She finally recovered after Jen had made her take slow deep breaths. 'What have I done?' Lily asked herself. She clearly loved James, and he clearly loved her. Lily sighed as she entered her new home. Sure it was nice and cozy, but it just didn't have that feeling you get when you truly are home. The only place Lily felt that was in James' arms.

James was at home, looking at all the things that were his. He lay in his bed and realized that he had nothing without Lily, he was nothing without Lily. He was used to holding her warm body as the feel asleep and now he was cold and lonely.

Lily lay in her bed at Jen's house and shivered slightly. She longed now for James' arms to hold her and his body to warm her. She longed for his laugh too cheer her up, or how they used to snuggle up and watch old muggle movies. She longed for the sweet James that she once knew.

James awoke the next morning with a heavy heart. Everything was finally start to settle in. The fact that he had lost Lily haunted him. He couldn't escape it. He heard love songs or he dreamed about it or he saw her. He found that he couldn't escape her.

Interstates and old songs  
Like time they go on and on  
I guess I could learn to do the same  
I could wake up without you  
These two arms not around you  
Tell myself it's meant to be this way  
No matter how I try somethings I can't change

About a month later, Lily finally decided to go on a blind date that Jen had set up for her. As Lily got ready, she anticipated the date, she also dreaded it. This would mean that there was absolutely no hope of her and James getting back together. This shattered Lily's heart. As Lily slipped n her jean skirt and white long sleeved shirt, she couldn't think of James. He had bought this shirt for her last Christmas. She felt so comfortable in it. Lily wished that she could Just forget about her and James, but she knew that it was no use, he was everywhere. She saw him walking down the street, or she dreamt about him, or she ran into him. Lily sighed and was content with her appearance. 'This is going to be an interesting night,' Lily thought. She swallowed hard and went to the cab awaiting her outside.

"Have fun Lils," Jen called after her, 'and good luck' she thought.

Lily finally arrived at the restaurant and found that this was about the nicest place around. 'Wow, he must really care,' Lily thought.

As she walked up to the headwaiter, she gave her name, and he walked her over to a table. 'Okay, deep breaths, you can do this,' Lily thought. As Lily took a deep breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them she gasped. Sitting in front of her was James. Lily was sure she was going to faint. "James?" she spoke softly.

"Lily?" James asked, just as surprised.

"What are you-" they both started.

"Go ahead, "James said.

"I, um, I'm here on a blind date, and you?" she asked as James hit himself.

"Same," he stated simply.

Lily sat down and they shared an awkward silence. "Listen Lily, I, um,-"

"James, about that night, can we just forget it?" she said hopefully.

"Absolutly," James said with a sigh.

"Look Lily, I've been thinking and well, I, I um, I cant stop thinking about you Lily. Everywhere I turn you're there. I dream about you just about every night and I see you everywhere. Lily, I love you and I can't-I could never forget you. As a matter of fact," James breathed, "Lily," James whispered, making her look at him, "I can't unhear, unremember, unthink, or," he paused, "unlove you. And that's okay, because I don't want to. Lily, I want to love you, and only you, for the rest of my life. Lily Evans, Will you marry me?"

Lily was in awe. She was certainly not expecting this. "James Potter, I would love more than anything else, to be yours."

James exploded with joy. He got up so fast, he nearly knocked the table over. He pulled Lily up, slipped a ring onto her finger and kissed her like it would be the last time together. He cherished this moment as did she, and for a moment, everything was perfect.

I can't unthink about you  
I can't unfeel your touch  
I can't unhear all the words  
Unsay all the things  
That used to mean so much  
I wish I could unremember  
Everything my heart's been through  
And finding out it's impossible to do  
Oh, no  
Oh, it's no use  
I can't unlove you  
I wish I could unremember  
Everything my heart's been through  
And finding out it's impossible to do  
Oh, oh, it's no use  
I can't unlove you

If you've read this far, I adore you. I would adore you more if you would review too! That would make my day! Also, I tend to go and read and review stories of authors that have reviewed my stories so if you will, please leave a review and let me know what you think of this.


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